Part 6: Let’s emphasize the important stuff (cont.)
There are about four zillion people, hundreds of corporations, and billions of dollars competing with me to give you advice about your investments.
I don’t think I can win this fight. I worry that over time you will lose sight of what I am telling you in this blog.
So I advocate three things:
- Buy Dr. Bernstein’s book and Dan Solin’s book. Keep them next to your bed and read them once a year to remind yourself of what you are trying to accomplish.
- Write down your asset allocation plan for the same reason.
- Stay away from the financial services industry and everyone involved with it. If anyone asks you about your investments, tell them you don’t have any. Then do some somersaults. I find that this discourages further conversation. Although my wife gets annoyed with me when I do it.
The first two suggestions are easy. The third one is tough. For instance, if you have a 401K at work, it is probably sponsored by some sort of financial guy who sold it to your boss. How do you stay away from him (or her)? You don’t. And if you do somersaults at work you might be frowned upon. Worse, you might have a relative, friend, or neighbor who decides to change careers and winds up getting a financial planning degree. You can’t avoid these people easily.
Let’s think of a few good lines to brush off the financial services vultures.
“My spouse makes all the investment decisions.” – This might get you off the hook with someone who doesn’t know you well, but it won’t cut the mustard with a friend, neighbor or relative.
“I don’t need any investing help.” – If you’ve read and understood my blog, this is true. But it won’t stop a decent financial services person. They have been trained to ask you hundreds of questions and keep bothering you until you wilt from exhaustion. The next thing you know, they are at your house getting you to sign some sort of consent agreement.
“I spend every dime I make.” – This will work. If you have no available cash, you are of no use to them.
“As soon as I find out how much I owe the IRS in back taxes, I’ll call you.” – This will work really well. Hardly any financial types bother Wesley Snipes any more.
“You need to talk to my trust fund administrator.” – This will stop them dead in their tracks. If your money is tied up in a trust, they can’t get at it. Plus, they know that the administrator is making money from the trust and would sooner cut her own heart out than give them a chance to invest some of the boodle.
I hope this helps you.
By the way, Dan Solin and Dr. William Bernstein have nothing good to say about the financial industry. So if a financial advisor gets by your defenses in the future, and actually makes some proposals to you, re-read their books immediately. You will come to your senses pretty quickly. If you don’t have time to read the books, at least wave them at the stock broker in question. It might scare him off.

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